I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
