Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
