I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so let's talk penis.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
