Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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