I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
