I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
