ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize