so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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