She's JV to your varsity
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
