Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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