if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
