Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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