is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
