I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
