i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
