she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
