Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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