Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
