They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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