i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So much Jack, so little girl.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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