He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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