i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
