Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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