and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
