You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
