So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
