Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
