The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
