I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
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