after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
