Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
