You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
