I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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