got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Four minutes until I can fart!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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