Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
