just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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