If i come over, it means nothing
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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