two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
