You work out of a Hotel?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Randomize
