put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
