im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
