it's not cheating when I paid for it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
