we should wear snuggies to the strip club
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
