I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
