Do you still have your period?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Someone came in the potted fern
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
