At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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