I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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