In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
