last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
