i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
