it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
