the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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