and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
