she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
