Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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