fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
