Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
