Pappa wants mamma naked
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
